The Power of Choice: The LOVE of a Stepmom
Happy Sunday! So Chicago tricked us again and looks like there is snow in the forecast for tomorrow. Should have known, lol! I have enjoyed the beautiful days of Spring we have experienced and look forward to when we are over the colder days. I will take a warm day over a cold day anytime.
So, today I wanted to talk about being a role model and a positive influence. I have been thinking A LOT lately on how important the choices I make and how it is viewed by my stepdaughter. When you have a purpose in this world it is so important to clearly think through each decision we are faced with. Now, we can't accomplish that with EVERY decision, but living life with a conscious mind and effort will allow for us to this the best we can. Accountability is key in anything you do, and even though there are times your words or actions cannot be justified, owning it and explaining why that decision was made can be just as influential.
My stepdaughter has been a blessing for my life from the very first day we met. She became my little best-friend and my now husband called me a baby thief. I thought it was funny and also a HUGE relief. I remember the thought of fear in my mind in meeting her and wanting it to go so well. Even though she was a baby, so much weighed on this first meeting and BOY was I relieved to know what a strong family unit we would become.
By the time I moved to Chicago, I spent much more time with this precious little girl, I began to realize she was an observer in this world. She was a sponge that would soak up every little moment. Even if she didn't react, you could tell she was understanding what was going on.
A single moment in time when we realized Kallie was a little sponge. We were driving back to the city from picking her up. She couldn't be more than two years old, dancing in her car seat to the music on the radio. As she was dancing her pacifier fell out of her mouth on to the ground and this little voice piped up from the back seat and said, "Awwww, Shit.!" WOAH! She used the phrase in context, my mind was blown. I tell you I silent laughed SOOOO hard for about two minutes straight. I didn't want her to think I was condoning the behavior, but kids do say the darnedest things. We always watched what we would say around her but again, a little sponge that could have picked that up from anywhere or anyone.
There were other times where I would notice her wearing her sweatpants like me or trying to wear one of my sweat bands, or even grabbing my yoga books and trying to put her own sequence together and I realized that she wanted to learn some of things I was doing, and she liked it. These experiences were very clear moments for me. As any child does, she looked up to me, for direction, guidance, acceptance, approval and so much more. Just like all the other people that surround this little girl, I was one of her role models and it was my duty to set a good tone.
At the very beginning when Kallie was learning to talk she couldn't pronounce her L's so she called me ASHY. As she got stronger and her L's were no longer an issue, she would elongate them so then she started calling me ASHLLLLLEY. The older she got and the longer Brad and I were together she started calling me MOSHLEY, which I learned, from her was a hybrid between Mom and Ashley, WHAT?!, this little girl is smart :) Finally, when Brad and I got engaged she began to call me MOM and my heart overflowed.
Before we move on too much more, according to Merriam-Webster Online, Role Model is defined as, "a person whose behavior in a particular role is imitated by others."
I feel honored and humbled this little girl has accepted me into her world, not only as a parental figure but also as one of her role models. This was such a beautiful moment for me because dating a man with a child can be a daunting feeling, because you don't want to let anyone down. You jump into a parental seat from the get-go and sometimes I felt there was much more on the line then just our relationship, but being a positive influence for this little girl. No stress, haha!
I am not sure if any of you have been in this situation or a similar one, because I find that being a role model can come in many different shapes and forms. How have you dealt with this idea of being a role model? Was it scary? Was it exciting?
For me, being a role model has provided me so much more personal growth than I ever thought was possible. This role has inspired me on a direction in my life I always knew was important, but now I had purpose to move forward without looking back. I think that is why this role has meant so much to me, is it allowed me to feel a true purpose in this world. A purpose outside of myself and my own goals, but to do things that will truly make a difference in this little girls world. I have had amazing moments and not so amazing moments, but I own each of them as a part of my growth path.
To think there are so many more years to come, so many more lessons to teach and so much more to learn. Below just captures a moment in time that I will remember and love forever <3
So next time you start to doubt yourself on what you are doing or why you are making certain choices, remind yourself, you could be influencing someone in your life. Live your life with purpose and OWN each moment no matter how proud you are. Each moment in time creates a new stepping stone for our path. Know each moment, obstacle, challenge, achievement is meant for a greater purpose then we will understand in the present time. Just stay strong and move through and know at one point you will back and say, "Oh, I get it."
Continue on your journey and be a positive, influential person. Know we can change lives with each choice we make, each moment we trust. Its a beautiful feeling. To light, love and happiness! <3
So, today I wanted to talk about being a role model and a positive influence. I have been thinking A LOT lately on how important the choices I make and how it is viewed by my stepdaughter. When you have a purpose in this world it is so important to clearly think through each decision we are faced with. Now, we can't accomplish that with EVERY decision, but living life with a conscious mind and effort will allow for us to this the best we can. Accountability is key in anything you do, and even though there are times your words or actions cannot be justified, owning it and explaining why that decision was made can be just as influential.
Image Courtesy of Google Images
By the time I moved to Chicago, I spent much more time with this precious little girl, I began to realize she was an observer in this world. She was a sponge that would soak up every little moment. Even if she didn't react, you could tell she was understanding what was going on.
Matching Onesies Holidays 2013
Image Courtesy of Google Images
At the very beginning when Kallie was learning to talk she couldn't pronounce her L's so she called me ASHY. As she got stronger and her L's were no longer an issue, she would elongate them so then she started calling me ASHLLLLLEY. The older she got and the longer Brad and I were together she started calling me MOSHLEY, which I learned, from her was a hybrid between Mom and Ashley, WHAT?!, this little girl is smart :) Finally, when Brad and I got engaged she began to call me MOM and my heart overflowed.
Image Courtesy of Google Images
Before we move on too much more, according to Merriam-Webster Online, Role Model is defined as, "a person whose behavior in a particular role is imitated by others."
I feel honored and humbled this little girl has accepted me into her world, not only as a parental figure but also as one of her role models. This was such a beautiful moment for me because dating a man with a child can be a daunting feeling, because you don't want to let anyone down. You jump into a parental seat from the get-go and sometimes I felt there was much more on the line then just our relationship, but being a positive influence for this little girl. No stress, haha!
Image Courtesy of Google Images
I am not sure if any of you have been in this situation or a similar one, because I find that being a role model can come in many different shapes and forms. How have you dealt with this idea of being a role model? Was it scary? Was it exciting?
For me, being a role model has provided me so much more personal growth than I ever thought was possible. This role has inspired me on a direction in my life I always knew was important, but now I had purpose to move forward without looking back. I think that is why this role has meant so much to me, is it allowed me to feel a true purpose in this world. A purpose outside of myself and my own goals, but to do things that will truly make a difference in this little girls world. I have had amazing moments and not so amazing moments, but I own each of them as a part of my growth path.
Image Courtesy of Simply Perfect Images
Tabata Wedding October 2014
Kallie & I dancing the night away :)
Continue on your journey and be a positive, influential person. Know we can change lives with each choice we make, each moment we trust. Its a beautiful feeling. To light, love and happiness! <3
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